A Magician's wrath

I am afraid of you.

Come on. Do not be silly. You have never met me so how could you possibly be afraid? You do not know me. You haven't seen my handsome face or heard my mellifluous voice. I am willing to risk a bet and give you odds of ten to one that if we did meet, then you would soon feel at ease and you would like me. Not a lot, perhaps .. but certainly enough to feel that you hadn't wasted your time. Any apprehension you have is more to do with the workings of your own mind and the picture that your own imagination is building up. How much have I put into the stew-pot and how much have you chucked in?

There is no hiding the fact that I am a fairly big man - I speak of my physique, of course: my height and my girth - though I do have a personality to match. However quiet and unassuming I try to be, when I board a bus it is much like a meteor entering the earth's atmosphere. But like all big men, I am dainty on my feet and I avoid all collisions with consummate ease. I am also a gentleman and I believe in politeness and consideration. Be afraid of small-minded people in slender bodies - history shows that they are far more likely to be violent and do you harm.

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Are you ever offended?

I am cautious and I make myself hesitate before reacting, usually. When I was an infant, my dad provided me with some astral guardians. It will help to understand them better if you think of them as mystic Rottweilers, though they are not as intelligent as dogs. Like their earthly counterparts, they tend to attack first, and drag bodies out afterwards. Now the point is: if they snap at ankles already, when I am calm and peaceful, I shudder to think what they might do if I lost my cool. They'd go berserk and I would have to clean the bits up. So to answer your question: in cases of personal offence, I let folk hear the howl, but when it is grave, I let them hear the clawing, and when it is bad, I watch them run.

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This seems unfair.

Well, it is, but we have to accept the given facts. Bear in mind that when one is a Master, idiots the world over come to challenge me to a duel. It is like being 'The Fastest Gun in the West' and every young kid fancying his chances in a shoot-out. They leap out at me from dark doorways and do their damnedest to provoke me into fighting. As a man, I have done nothing to deserve these constant and tiresome attacks, so to get a bit of peace, I let the astral Rottweilers patrol the grounds. One growl from them would pacify a football riot.

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Could there be an 'accident'?

That is the snag! Clever of you to notice. Yes, there is always a risk that these creatures will perceive a threat where none exists. The last time it happened was when a friend got too excited while telling me about a film he had seen. He made too many gesticulations for my dogs' liking and was carried away. They brought him back later though. I spend a lot of my time calming them down and stroking their raised hackles. I beam at folk pleasantly and will them to speak quietly and move smoothly. Aleister advised me to do all I could to 'keep them off the bloody boil'. And I do try.

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Do you ever use them in anger?

Oh yes. When someone goes on playing silly buggers long after I have warned them. I just lift my finger and, in a split second, half their psychic trousers disappear - often the leg goes with it. Or if I let slip an inch of leash, the fool opposite has his ego raked by a nasty set of astral claws. I notice that they are much nicer afterwards. Apart from that, I walk away from quarrelsome situations in order to save any embarrassment. A spoiled child is most hurt by being ignored.

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Don't you feel pity for such people?

It is hard to feel pity for wickedness, arrogance and rank stupidity, but if people do whatever they can to acknowledge their error, I will respond by doing whatever I can to repair the worst effects. Should someone become a student - and judging by the mass of students I have got, stupidity is not necessarily an impediment - then I will use my best efforts to train them in better behaviour. In most other cases, it is wiser simply to ignore the fools of this world. Misplaced sympathy is a real danger because it could lead to some sort of search for middle ground or accommodation, and we must never compromise with evil.

While we are on this subject, could I interest any readers in a Rottweiler pup?

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Why do you treat this lightly?

If I adopted any other sort of tone, I doubt if you would take me so seriously. The facts themselves are sufficiently grave, and there is no need to back them up with atmospheric music. Let me put it another way. These entities are there to protect me. They are pretty single-minded about their job and they intend to do it, willy-nilly. They prefer to hurtle in even if only a fly settles on my nose. In other words, they protect me even when there is no apparent risk of danger. In addition to this, they are not entirely under my command and they operate largely outside my personal control. I am not a man who suffers fools gladly. To be honest about it, I have more than a slight tendency to be irritable. So, rather than permit innocent passers-by get diced by intergalactic canines .. I try to exert a modicum of self-control. This will not help you to understand my jokes but it goes some way to explaining my sense of humour.

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Can I quit Occultism unscathed?

Of course you can. No question about it. But only with the proviso that you are appropriately courteous and that you do not try to do me harm either. I am sure you can understand that if you came along just to amuse yourself or to collect an autograph, then I might be annoyed, but this does not mean anything. You would not be in any danger apart from the sharp end of my tongue.

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Do you blast people with magic?

I have done, but I almost always give them appropriate warning first. Every person has to be given the chance to back down and apologise. However, if I am badly wronged then I would normally resort to a magic ritual in which I set out merely to draw the attention of the Beyond to the offender's name. In this way, I am leaving all decisions to them and not passing judgement myself.

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You mean you never 'hit' people?

No, I cannot say that. I try to stick to my principles and do whatever is right, but in spite of this .. in spite of doing my best and observing the highest possible standards .. I am a merely a man, and I have never claimed to be anything else. So I have to be humble and admit that I do get bad-tempered. On certain rare occasions I even get furious and I have 'let loose', so to speak. If matters are as bad as all that though, my astral guardians have usually taken independent action anyway. This does not excuse me, but it soothes my conscience slightly. In general then, I try not to 'hit' anyone, as you put it, if only because human judgement can be wrong and we do not know all the circumstances. This is why it is best to leave such things to the gods.

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Do you ever destroy people?

Is it fair and reasonable to ask a soldier if he has ever shot someone? None of us has a right to bury his head in the sand and ignore the rest of humanity. By simple virtue of being alive, we have a duty to aid and protect other living organisms and to do so in order of cosmic priority. I do not kill or hunt animals for amusement, but I would use any force necessary to rescue someone who was attacked by an animal. I would not hurt another human being but I would go to any lengths to defend my child against other human beings.

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Are you a vengeful man?

Does your question imply that this would be wrong? It may be illogical, but everyone admits it is satisfying. Even the one God of Christians, Jews and Muslims is a divinity that seeks tremendous revenge. When a man does wrong, he expresses his regret and tries to put matters right, or else the other party will seek redress. Amends have to be made one way or another. I tend to not take offence at people who wrong me inadvertently, i.e. without intending to do so. I also overlook naiveté and immaturity. But am I obliged to ignore the man who wrongs me deliberately, coldly, and with planning? What about people who transgress civic law, or the ones who go against cosmic law. A man is free to bring down retribution on his own head. He has asked for it.

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Would you help such a person?

My powers derive from the Beyond, but I am by no means as powerful as the Beyond. I am a servant or an instrument of the cosmos but not more powerful than the Cosmos. It is unthinkable that a mere man should seek to turn that power against its source. Legend says that angels once tried and even they failed and fell as a consequence. If it were possible to intercede and to plead then I would certainly do so, but it is highly unlikely that I would have any effect. The only time when I could possibly help is when someone gets into trouble with the powers of evil and wicked people, or when they are troubled by mundane matters on this plane.

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